Ask Anna

Anna - Our resident sexpert

Anna is a trained sexologist. She originally studied counselling but quickly realised that sexual relationships seemed to be an area of stress in peoples' lives. In her desire to give clients information of value and help, she began to study the dynamics of sexuality, the barriers to sexual fulfilment and how to overcome the common and more complex issues we all have around the area of sexual expression.

With her vast knowledge and experience, Anna is "to the point" in her answers with no beating around the bush - pardon the pun! She prides herself in being unshockable and reckons she can assist with any sexual problem - no matter how off the wall it may seem.

So go ahead, regardless of what's (or who's) eating you!

Love Anna xxx

Ask Anna a Question

All questions will be treated in the strictest of confidence (names will be altered on here). Members that submit questions that are published will receive a 10% discount on future orders.

February 17th, 2011

What makes a great blow job?

We have asked gay guys, straight guys, married guys and girls and here is part and parcel of what they have said.

The main thing we kept hearing is NO TEETH and LUBRICATION. Now, okay you say, ” I know that! What else?!”

My thoughts exactly.

Here’s where we get to the nitty gritty.

Guys are visual creatures, they want to see that you want him. They need to see you getting turned on by his penis. They want to think that you want to be there. They want to think that you want to see him cum. So girls, this is rule number one.

Think variety: Savour a great Blow Job so it lasts a while. Get creative with your movements, your tongue, hands, lips etc. Get a small massager (not penis-shaped!!) and use that on him for a while as well as your mouth. Switch things up and watch his body language for what you know he really likes so that you can finish him up with that technique in a bit.

Time management: You don’t have to be there for 2 hours. 10 solid minutes will feel like forever if done right and it will take him a good 5 minutes for his eyes to uncross after he ejaculates. Now – you can also, go slow and easy and make it last for hours, thats entirely up to you.

So it should be enthusiastic, rhythmic, and get you turned on.

STEP BY STEP:

Gently breath warm air all over his penis, gently kiss it and stroke it with your lips. Take the very tip, the head, into your mouth (this is the most sensitive part of his penis) get his head good and wet with your tongue and suck. Listen to his moans of pleasure and react as he does, then slowly put the whole thing in your mouth. After you get everything lubricated well and a good rythm of his penis going in and out take it out and quickly and switch to hand if your mouth needs a break. Once you feel his penis getting dry it’s time to continue blowing. While you’re stroking his penis in your mouth do some strokes shorter and longer than each other. Keep it random and exciting. Then if you’re feeling risky, ever so gently introduce your teeth at the base for one or two strokes at a time. Too many strokes with your teeth may cause irritation even though he’ll be moaning. Then as you feel his penis flex and as he’s reaching an orgasm it’s your choice to swallow, spit or finish off with a hand job. Don’t forget while you’re giving a BJ to cup his balls and feel his body.

For the “Thank you BJ” Don’t be afraid to plan a little bit. Get the towel, the flavored oils, the ice/hot tea ready and staged.

A bed is great.. but gets BORING ladies.. be adventerous, dare to get caught, dare to not care once in a while, your man will LOVE this.

January 12th, 2011

Female Masturbation – Seduce Yourself

As it happens, women are not built to just jump right in!!

You have to take things slowly and get turned on in your own time. 

Try taking a hot bath with some relaxing music, light mood candles, and drink a glass of wine to relax you. You could watch an adult movie before your bath. Do things that turn you on. Even enjoy the memory of a particularly stimulating sexual experience.

If you’re fairly new to masturbation then you may want to start by lightly stroking your outer lips. These lips are soft and stretchable, so try gently tugging and rolling them between your fingers. Start off very slowly and gentle, teasing, but increase the pressure. Then move to the inner lips, which are the soft, pink folds found deeper between your outer lips. These are quite a bit more sensitive, so be sure to start gently here too. They create an entirely different set of sensations. Find what you like best by stroking and tugging these lips.

While noting which areas are more sensitive to your touch, slip a finger all the way into your vagina and feel around the inside edge. Gently move your finger in and out. To find out more, read about our G-Spot writings on our  blog.

January 8th, 2011

Tea Bagging

Hi, I like to get a cup full of fairly warm water and lay my balls in the cup and masturbate. This feels amazing. Try it!!

Jason.

January 8th, 2011

Vibrator (Sex Toy)

Wikipedia.org  has a great discription of vibrators, sex toys , and their history!! There is a great advertisement of a vibrator as advertised in 1913!! Interesting reading.

Butterfly Kisses are not responsible for information given on wikipedia.org

January 5th, 2011

Erection Problems

Hi Anna,

I am a young adult who has trouble maintaining a solid erection for very long, even without ejaculating…. is there any “Herbal” solutions to my problem and if so, what in your opinion would be the most effective product to give me a better erection?!

Hope to hear back from you soon.

Thank you.

Alex

January 5th, 2011

Strap On for Couples

Hi Anna,

Have you any suggestions?
We are a young couple, we’re looking for a strap on that we both can enjoy.

Could you suggest anything please?
 
Thank you for your help, and love the website!

Claire

January 5th, 2011

Recommend a Rabbit Vibrator

Hi Anna,

I was wondering if you could recommend a good rabbit vibrator for me?

It’s my first one!!

Thank you.

Julia

January 5th, 2011

New Vibrator and Clit Toy

Hi Anna,

I want to buy myself a vibrator. I dont know which one though. I have had a rabbit vibrator before that I bought in Butterfly Kisses years ago but it was quiet big. I live with my parents so I want one which is discreet. I also want a clit toy as well. Never used one before. Which would be best?

Thanks,

Sharon

January 5th, 2011

Anal Toy for Boyfriend

Hi Anna,

I was wondering do you have anything in Butterfly Kisses that I could ‘toy’ my boyfriend anally with?

Cheers,

Debs

January 5th, 2011

First Sex Toy

Hi Anna,

I’m wondering can you help me, I don’t know which sex toy to get, there are so many on the www.ButterflyKisses.ie website.

I live with parents so need a discreet one!!

You always give great advice so I can’t wait for your reply.

Thanks.

Ruth.